Last night my cat was particularly active and bothersome, causing such a ruckus in the bathroom around 3am I jumped out of bed in a rage and banished him from my room. This morning I discovered the cause of the ruckus:

This fucking beast was just sitting in my bathtub and when I approached it he made a run for the drain – only he couldn’t fit in it. He just sat there for a while, head in the drain and ass in the air, perhaps pretending I couldn’t see him. As you can compare this thing to my comb, it was at least 4 inches long. To resolve this disgusting problem I did what many people would do – put a warning sign on the bathroom door, closed it, and went to work.

When I came home later my husband assembled the required tools for monster removal: newspaper + plastic cup. And out he went.